because not enough websites start with the letter “Z”
Posted in health on Oct 31st, 2005
The name for this site, zanshin is used in the martial arts, which is where I learned it. I studied karate-do for almost 9 years achieving the rank of nidan before I stopped physically practicing. Cross country moves, new jobs, and a delight in my marriage gave me higher priority activities than the regular practice [...]
I spent some time today transferring most of the postings Michele had made to her site to the new format. Rereading some of her thoughts was painful at times, satisfying at others. One of the things that happens when someone you love suicides is that you begin to question every thing you believed about that [...]
Posted in nerdliness on Oct 31st, 2005
Over the weekend I rearranged the furniture in the apartment. The new setting requires that both primary computers (the Powerbook and the iMac) connect to the LAN wirelessly. The Powerbook has had an Airport card for some time now, but the iMac has always been hard wired. Imagine my surprise, and then dismay, to learn [...]
It’s funny how your perspective changes over time. For the past eight, almost nine, years I have viewed Monday with a certain depression. Monday meant that the weekend was over, my uninterrupted time with Michele was over until the next weekend. Before I met Michele, and before she moved into my life, weekends were something [...]
Posted in life on Oct 29th, 2005
Every night now the same pattern happens. I move through the evening until I get sleepy and then I go to bed. Sometimes I lie in bed watching television until I get sleepy. Some nights I fall asleep and stay asleep until morning. Other times, like this evening, I can’t get my mind to stop [...]
Posted in life on Oct 29th, 2005
I had a full day today, trying to keep the aloneness from getting to me. I got it in my head this week that I wanted to move the furniture around. Yesterday I bought a swivel base for the television in preparation for the new arrangement, and this morning at 7:00 I was running the [...]
On Monday it will be three weeks since Michele died. Just twenty-one days chronologically but a lifetime for me. The first week I numbly moved through the activities of notifying friends and family, arranging her memorial service, and existing. The second week I returned to work. Having routine and structure helped me to keep going. [...]
Posted in life on Oct 26th, 2005
As a creature of habit there are touchstones in my daily life that help me to feel grounded and on track. Obviously, talking to Michele was a big part of my life, and those times of the day are difficult now. At work I usually called Michele once in the morning and once in the [...]
Posted in nerdliness, social issues on Oct 26th, 2005
One of the things I like about Apple Computer is their sense of social conscience. Take their home page today for example. Think Different indeed.
Posted in life on Oct 24th, 2005
Lately I’ve been functional, but not creative. I’m able to get through daily activities, if only because I’ve done them before. But any activity that requires creativity or thought, and I’m out of luck. Meals are difficult to think up, prepare, and quite frankly, consume. I’ve been resorting to lists in order to accomplish anything. [...]