About fifteen months after we were married, Michele became ill. The illness itself isn’t important, the fact it was debilitating, potentially embarrassing, and chronic is important. This illness plagued her until the day she died.
My character is such that I never shirked my role in our lives. I provided care when care was called for, [...]
Tag Archive 'growth'
Do Be Do Be Do
Posted in life on May 4th, 2006
To be or not to be - Shakespeare
To do is to be - Nietzsche
To be is to do - Sartre
Do Be Do Be Do - Sinatra
Once upon a time a friend asked me if I was a “human being or a human doing.” At the time I didn’t think about it much, but over the [...]
Wound Field DC Motor
Posted in life, nerdliness on Apr 11th, 2006
In eighth grade metal shop class one of our projects was to make a zinc-carbon battery and a wound field DC electric motor. The battery kit contained a tube and the end caps, as well as the paste that filled the battery. My best friend’s battery kit was damaged so we used his paste and [...]
Ulterior Motive
Posted in life on Apr 2nd, 2006
Several times now I have spent one or both weekend mornings camped out in various Panera Bread locations. On the surface this is an effort to get me out of the apartment, to do something different. Ever since I used to haunt the indoor mall in Springfield I have known that people watching works for [...]
Regarding my pique at being invited over to someone’s house for the first time, and my initial reaction of “why now?”, I think I came to a better understanding about it last night in group.
While I have been over to other friends houses since Michele’s death, this is the first brand new relationship I’ve experienced [...]
I Feel Good
Posted in life on Mar 21st, 2006
Recently, in a conversation with Laura, I used the phrase “instead of trying to be with people who look good, we should try to be with people who feel good.” She didn’t let that bon mot go by unnoticed. Thinking back on her comments about it, I realize that one of the cornerstones of my [...]
I missed Jonathan Rauch’s article Caring For Your Introvert article when it first came out, but thanks to kottke.org I was introduced to it today.
It perfectly describes Michele, and moreover, it describes me too. All my life I have tried to tell people I was shy only to have them object. Now I know that [...]
Rough Day at Black Rock
Posted in life on Feb 8th, 2006
Today has been rough. For some time now I have been getting more and more confused by the design approach we are using on my project at work. This approach, coupled with a rather dense application framework, has contributed to feelings of inadequacy and lowered my battered self esteem even more. Feeling stupid has always [...]
Well Of Despair
Posted in life on Jan 25th, 2006
My demons are getting the better of me this evening. I feel jittery and sluggish at the same time. My neck is a rigid bar of pain while my head feels as if it is stuffed with cotton. Emotionally I feel spent, however, there are spurts of white hot anger just to keep me (and [...]
My vacation took me to a context outside of the ones I shared with Michele. Traveling by plane was something we shared, and traveling was something we both appreciated. But going to Massachusetts was not something we ever did as a couple. In fact my trip here is a bit of a bookend, as the [...]
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