because not enough websites start with the letter “Z”
Posted in family on Jul 25th, 2006
Nine years ago this evening I was at the rehearsal dinner for my wedding. Friends and family had gathered from Florida, Tennessee, Massachusetts, and Illinois to help us celebrate the occasion. The experience was heady and surreal, exciting and scary, wonderful and beautiful.
Nine years ago tomorrow, July 26, was my wedding day. I was able [...]
About fifteen months after we were married, Michele became ill. The illness itself isn’t important, the fact it was debilitating, potentially embarrassing, and chronic is important. This illness plagued her until the day she died.
My character is such that I never shirked my role in our lives. I provided care when care was called for, [...]
Posted in family on Jul 9th, 2006
I’m starting to take some “next steps” in my journey back from the land of grief. Some of these are mental and or emotional adjustments, while others are more tangible. The most tangible one to date has been the changing of my voice mail greeting.
Until yesterday if you called my home phone you were greeted [...]
Posted in family on Jul 6th, 2006
It has only been nine months since Michele died and already some of the memory contexts I’ve been using to keep the sound of her voice alive in my memory are failing. To be fair the urgency to hear her voice is falling off a bit too. In recent weeks I’ve been thinking more and [...]
Posted in family on Jun 30th, 2006
Recently, in a conversation with a good friend who, in an unbelievable twist of fate is also struggling through the aftermath of a spouse’s death, we talked about special days and ordinary days. The gist of it was that every single day was special for one reason or another. Sure there are “big” days like [...]
Since October I have been carrying around with me Michele’s wedding ring and mine. At first I kept them in my pocket. Her ring was returned to me in a small zip lock bag and I figured that anyone who had touched it would have been wearing gloves. I left it in the bag as [...]
Posted in family on Jun 12th, 2006
As anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one knows all too well, “what if” questions can become the bane of your existence. At every turn you are faced with some thought or question that makes you wonder if things could have turned out differently. Did you miss an indication or opportunity? Was [...]
Posted in life on Jun 10th, 2006
Recently I have been having increasing feelings of jealous or envy, particularly when I am around couples. That they have a partner, companion, lover, friend, et cetera with them all the time and I don’t is almost more than I can bear. Being the odd man out, once again, at parties or other gatherings is [...]
Posted in family on Jun 8th, 2006
A year ago yesterday our phone rang at 2:30 in the morning bringing the news the Michele’s mom was in the hospital and not expected to survive the day. By 11:00 pm that evening her mom was dead and, I think, Michele’s depression had started a slide that would ultimately contribute to her own death [...]
Two of the television shows that both Michele and I loved to watch were Survivor and Amazing Race. I watched the spring season of both shows this year, and while it was bittersweet at times, I’m glad I let myself have this enjoyment.
On Amazing Race this year the team I rooted for right from the [...]
