because not enough websites start with the letter “Z”
Posted in family on May 28th, 2006
It is only going to be a matter of hours now before my mom dies. She has been unresponsive since later Thursday or early Friday. Calling her name or talking to her no longer even causes her eyes to open. The hospice nurse assures us that we are doing all that can be done, and [...]
Posted in family on May 25th, 2006
The last few days have seen a sharp decline in my mother’s health. She is now sleeping nearly all the time, and has stopped eating. Her disorientation in terms of where she is, and even sometimes when she is, is increasing in frequency. She is so weak now that she is no longer able to [...]
Posted in family on May 23rd, 2006
My father called me this evening. He is now faced with some brutally difficult decisions regarding my mom. She is weak enough now that she is no longer able to stand or walk. Getting from her bed to the bathroom is extremely difficult, and my father is afraid that it is rapidly becoming more than [...]
Posted in family on May 22nd, 2006
To quote my father from a phone conversation I had with him early Saturday morning, “things have come to a pretty underpass.” It seems the my mom has less and less of a grip on reality, or at least her grip is some what fluid. During the night Friday she was up for several hours [...]
Posted in family on May 20th, 2006
Over the course of the last week or so, I’ve managed to largely avoid thinking about my mom. Part of me feels guilty for turning away from her in the final stages of her dying, but another part of me has needed the time to regain my strength for what lies ahead. By not calling [...]
Posted in family on May 18th, 2006
Talking to my dad last night made me more aware than ever of the mounting pressure on him, the rest of my family, and myself. Knowing what is coming and being helpless to change it is difficult. Doubly so for my father as he is on the front line of this battle, and, even though [...]
Posted in family on May 16th, 2006
My sister, Amy, died, thirty-three years ago of leukemia. During the last year of her life, and before we knew she was sick, my father took a portrait of her that really captured her essence. Shortly after her death he sent a copy of the picture to a company that produced a large format print [...]
Posted in family on May 11th, 2006
Today has been a particularly tough day. I feel defeated on all fronts, and it feels like there is no where to turn for relief or even respite.
After lunch I took one of the team leads aside at work and admitted to him that due to my emotional situation I was not making much progress [...]
Posted in family on May 9th, 2006
As expected the oncologist discontinued my mother’s chemotherapy today. The regimen was only killing her blood and not impacting the tumor. Or should I say tumors, as the latest CAT scan revealed at least two.
The transition to hospice begins now, perhaps with slight detours for radiation treatments to ameliorate pain. No one knows how long [...]
Posted in family on May 8th, 2006
After sleeping on it last night, and in the context of my own life here in Kansas, here are my thoughts about my mom, and my dad, after seeing them this past weekend.
The visit with my mom was as good as could be expected. She is very depressed now, sleeping most of the day and [...]
