October 08, 2002
I am really feeling ADD this morning. When I got to work I discovered that I had left my Palm Pilot at home. I use this tool throughout the day, and especially at lunch when it serves as my electronic book reader. When I realized that I had forgotten it I nearly drove the 40 minute round trip to get it.
When I talked to my wife on the phone she offered to bring it to me. This grew into our having lunch together since she would be in town anyway. As much as I enjoy having meals out with her I couldn’t let myself have this lunch. I need for some things to be the same way and one of those is my Tuesday lunch.
Every week I have chili at a local hole-in-the-wall on Tuesday. I go that day because the woman dishing it up makes it perfectly in my opinion. I know that forgoing lunch with my sweetheart just to have a bowl of chili the way I want is pretty silly, but doing anything else would not take care of me today.
I need the comfort that some boundaries bring. Knowing that Tuesday’s I have chili for lunch feels good. It is a stable touchstone that I can count on each week. The rest of the days I eat at a variety of places, but Tuesday is chili day.
It is difficult to express these feelings and reasons even to my wife, even though she assures me that I am more normal that I believe. I am even finding it very difficult to put it into words here and now. However, I know expressing this, even poorly, is vital to my continued growth.
Finally I am truly blessed to share my life with Michele. She not only understands that I am like this, she is okay when my need for consistency impinges on our activities. I think it impinges less today than ever before, and as long as I can talk about it with her its hold over me will continue to diminish.