November 15, 2005
Once upon a time I wrote about dysosmia, which is the fancy term for olfactory hallucinations. When my allergies or sinus are upset I smell smoke where there isn’t any. Usually it’s just a faint whiff of smoke and I know that there is nothing there, but sometimes the odor is persistent and strong enough that I start to wonder if there is a fire. I used to ask Michele if she smelled it on those occasions to reassure myself that everything was okay. Now I have to move through the apartment looking in closets and checking appliances.
It’s funny the little things that you take for granted in a relationship, that are there and important but unnoticed against the larger backdrop of life. Even things your partner did that annoyed you are missed. The fact that Michele left rinsed but dirty dishes in the sink rather than putting them in the dishwasher meant that she was there. The empty sink is a reflection of the emptiness in my life right now.