January 29, 2006
Today has all the earmarkings of a lousy day. I was awake at 12:30, 2:30, 4:30 and finally 5:40 this morning. A series of two hour naps does not make for a good night’s sleep. Being awake at 5:30 on a Sunday morning really sucks. There’s nothing to do except sit around and wait for it to be 8:30 or 9:00 in the evening so you can lay down for another series of two hour naps.
Deciding that breakfast out would at least cause me to eat, and maybe fill up an hour of the day, I set off for my favorite greasy spoon. On the way I knew I’d pass the car wash and decided to wash the car too. After only one pass around the car the laser guided marvel at the car wash quit working. The car was covered with thick foamy soap so I couldn’t really see where the machine was or why it wasn’t working. I waited several minutes before pulling the car out of the bay and into a manual bay. I rinsed the car off, but since it was only 6:15 am there was no one there to complain to or get my money back from.
Setting off for the restaurant again I realized that I was boiling mad and any attempt to eat would on result in my having to throw up in the bathroom. So I turned around and came home. Fully enraged by the time I got home I slammed the garage door several times. It’s solid metal and makes a very satisfying boom with the garage as an echo chamber behind it. I bumped into the trash can knocking it over and had to give it a full-power roundhouse kick. It is made of stern stuff as it didn’t break, and the dent popped out almost immediately. My big toe is a bit sore now, however, and the pain has cut through the cloud of mad I had going on before.
It isn’t even 7:00 am yet and all I want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep all day. I still have the Xanax Michele was given the day she got her diagnosis, and I remember how sleepy and dopey a whole one made me. I am sorely tempted to take one and just drift away on it today. My fear is that I’ll grow to like drifting away and will want to nothing but more Xanax, so I won’ take one.
It all just sucks.