Patient, I Am Not

| posted in: life 

Today marks the end of the third day since my eye surgery. At times I think I can see a difference, and at other times I think it is actually getting worse. By the end of the day, like now, everything is blurry. Obviously my mind and my eyes are getting tired of trying to deal with the new reality I’ve imposed on them. It is frustrating to have to squint to see anything. it is very difficult not to start to wonder if maybe there’s been a horrible mistake made and that my vision is never going to improve.

The most frustrating part for me this evening is the lack of arms length focus through my right eye. This eye was deliberately made slightly nearsighted to enable me to see the computer screen without glasses. At best I am able to focus on objects or text only 8 inches or so from my face. This distance hasn’t changed that I can tell since the dilation wore off Thursday evening. I know that the incision must heal before I’ll get the full change in my vision, but it is very hard to be patient while this slowly happens.

As I type tonight I am seeing this through my left eye, with some clarity, but not any real sharpness. Driving today was relatively easy; I am able to see and feel comfortable with my depth perception. The sense of zooming up on things that I noticed Friday is now gone. When I cover or close my right eye everything stays in focus (more or less). When I do the same to my left eye, everything beyond eight or nine inches is immediately out of focus. For the first time in my life I know what it is to be nearsighted. I wouldn’t mind so much, if the focal distance was 24 or 30 inches like we’d talked about before the procedure.

Three months was the time frame given before my mind full adapts to the monovision. It seems to me, other than no focal range on my right side, that I am already adapting to the change in my eyes. I don’t feel off balance, I was able to finely cut vegetables for chili today, and I haven’t tripped or lost my footing yet. I only hope that as the incisions heal my right eye gains focal distance out to the arms length I said I wanted, so that I can see the computer screen comfortably.

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Mark H. Nichols

I am a husband, cellist, code prole, nerd, technologist, and all around good guy living and working in fly-over country. You should follow me on Twitter.