July 30, 2006
For the past seven years I have cataloged and discussed all manner of things here on my site. For the most part I was uncaring about the results of recording bits of my life and casting them adrift on the sea of the Internet. Since joining eHarmony however, I've found myself being a bit more judicious about what gets posted here and what doesn't.
Don't get me wrong, I am not ashamed of anything that I am or do. In the past I have shared some very painful and revealing episodes from my life here. What concerns me then, is establishing a context. The snippets of my life that I post here are just that, snippets. Someone reading some or all of these postings would get an idea about who I am. (What that idea is exactly isn't clear to me - I'm too close the Mark tree to see the Mark forest.)
I am teetering on whether to expose my site to the matches I've been communicating with through eHarmony. Obviously this site would be a gold mine of information to someone just meeting me. Not knowing what conclusions they might reach as a result of reading it is what gives me pause.
My self confidence in relationships is not the same as say, my confidence at work, or in the martial arts. I've only been through a few relationship overtures and I'm not confident in myself. Therefore I'm less confident about exposing this site to potential new relationships. I think as I become more confident in the dating/relationship realm I'll feel more comfortable about sharing this site with everyone, and I will be less worried about what to say here and what not to say.