Courage

August 08, 2002

My wife is currently suffering from a pre-menopause condition that results in a continuous menstruation. She has endured this for 4 long years now. Typically this condition runs its course in 3-5 years. Ever day she must face the reality of bleeding. And every so often the reality of major clotting and heavy bleeding. It is debilitating, exhausting and extremely emotionally draining. She has faced this entire situation with grace and dignity. Not once in 4 years has she lashed out at me or anyone else as a result of her condition. She has, repeatedly and appropriately, expressed her emotions about her plight. At times she is so tired and distraught that the enormity of what she is facing overwhelms her and she cries and rages to release. Each time she finds a way back to herself, back to that incredible core of love and belief that keeps her going.

They say that courage is not the absence of fear but rather continuing in the face of fear. My wife has continued, and continues, everyday, in the face of fear. I could not be more impressed with her struggle. I have become a better man by watching her, helping her, and being there for her. I have gained new understanding of what is truly important in my life from her battle. The seemingly large issues at work and out in the "real" world, pale when compared to a daily struggle to face the world despite fears of embarrassment and censure over something out of ones control. Having possessions and money is insignificant when all you want is for the one you love to be whole and okay.

There is absolutely no one I place higher in my regard that my wife. I love her totally and with abandon. I freely give all that I am to her. And I joyfully accept all that she is and gives to me in return. My life, her life, and our life together, is real, grounded, and centered in truth.

I lov eyou /\/\\

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Mark H. Nichols

I am a husband, cellist, code prole, nerd, technologist, and all around good guy living and working in fly-over country. You should follow me on Twitter.