March 31, 2004
For the past two weeks I've been at home every day, and in the quiet of our house I have been more aware than ever before of my tinnitus. I've known for some time that I had ringing in my ears from time to time, but only when it is truly quiet around me, am I really aware of it.
It used to be that in the morning I'd get up and it would be there, but once I got to work the constant background noise of people and machines would drown it out. In fact in order to block out the background noise of the typical workplace I wore headphones and listened to music much of the work day.
So now in the quiet of my own home, situated on a semi-rural acre, I am painfully aware that this tone goes on all the time. The intensity changes, as does the apparent volume. I've discovered that clenching my neck muscles or my jaw can alter the pitch somewhat. I slowly getting used to this, ah, feature of my body.
Still it is odd to think that my ears generate a constant slightly piercing tone day in and day out.