October 07, 2005
For severals weeks now Michele has been complaining about a sharp pain in her left shin. Sometimes it would be worse, and sometimes not even there. In the past few days however the pain has become debilitating. Elevating her leg, applying heat or cold provided just a little respite, but no real relief.
Today we went to the nearby Urgent Care to see about an x-ray. The Doctor return with news far worse than we could have imagined. The is an actual hole in the bone, and some growth or disturbance around it. Because of her past history with breast cancer Dr. Ham's assessment is that it has returned and metastasized to her shin. They immediately setup an appointment for Michele to have a bone scan performed Tuesday morning, with an appointment to see the orthopedist that afternoon.
Alternating between shock and tears we managed to get home. The nurse from Urgent Care called to inform us that they had upgraded her lower extremity scan to a full body scan. Obviously after further consideration Dr. Ham feels we need to search her whole body for more hot spots.
We spent the rest of the day moving in slow motion, barely comprehending what is happening. A part of me wants to pinch myself hard so I'll wake up from this nightmare. Another part knows that I am already awake, and that the nightmare is real.
Our weekend will be spent quietly consoling each other and trying to put into words the enormity of our emotions.