October 14, 2005
One of the hardest parts about this is feeling separated from myself. The part of me that Michele brought out is inaccessible to me now. Whether I ever get any or all of that part of me back will be determined in the days, weeks, and months to come.
This Mark, sitting here in the middle of the night struggling with feelings, images, thoughts, aches, pains, and grief, is different than the on from Monday before her death. There was a personality that only came out when she was in the room. I remember him, and I miss him. I know that eventually new facets of me will come to the fore, but I am saddened that the part of me that was hers is gone with her.