November 03, 2005
The simmering lake of anger that exists just beneath the surface of my facade of normalcy boiled over today. The hapless target of this were various members of the Lexus service department in person, and the manager of that department later on the phone.
On Monday afternoon I called Lexus and made an appointment for the car to be serviced. As always I requested a loaner car for the day. I was told that today, Thursday, was the first opening with a car available. I deliberately scheduled the drop off for 7:00 am as that is the earliest time available.
This morning I arrived at Lexus shortly before 7:00 and was waiting when the opened the garage doors. The "greeter" was unable to find my name on his list of expected drop offs. A trip inside to the computer terminal also failed to turn my reservation up. After some heated words on my part they agreed to take the car today anyway, but then it turned out they had no loaner for me. Therefore no way to get to work and back without relying upon rides - rides which I hate to ask for and didn't have pre-established.
After voicing rather loudly my displeasure at the entire situation I left in an extreme state of agitation and anger. I believe I left a patch of rubber on their nicely polished floor. Upon arriving at work, my anger now at a nice boil, I immediately called the service department and asked to speak to the manager. I will hand it to Craig, he is very good and dealing with outraged people who don't want to be handled. I admire him for his patience as I vented my frustration about the last three weeks of misery and pain through this small, insignificant event. He even managed to calm me down and schedule a new appointment for next week. And, as a bonus, the drop off time is the night before so I won't have to be late to work the next day.
As with the several bouts of uncontrolled crying I've had recently, this venting of anger has left me feeling much better. I have talked to close friends about the need to find a survivors of suicide therapy group so I can vent my emotions in a healthy and appropriate manner. This morning's eruption of anger, coupled with little fits of anger last evening, and a hour of uncontrolled weeping, are clearly showing me that I need to take my advice and find a group.