Public Hygiene

March 03, 2006

Like all office buildings, the one where I work sports a selection of restrooms. Being male I am subjected to the often times curious, often times crude habits of my fellow man in this hallowed space. The comedian Elaine Boosler had a line in her act that went something like, "Men are just bears with furniture. [In the bathroom] it seems they are happy as long as they hit something." This is a frighteningly true statement.

One aspect of men's room that kills me is the amount of water left on the counter around the sinks after hands are washed. You have to be careful not to lean up against the edge of the counter, lest you walk away with a waist high water stain on your pants.

What's worse (at least for me) is the dental hygiene that occurs in the public restroom. There are several men who frequent the restroom nearest to where I sit who all brush and floss in full view of anyone and everyone in the room. Now I think good dental hygiene is a good idea, but, due to some warped Midwestern sensibility I'm sure, I find the visual images of other people brushing disturbing, and as for the sounds of flossing... blech.

Guys, your teeth aren't going to rot if you wait until arriving at home to brush, floss, and pick at your teeth. Get it out of the public restrooms.

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Mark H. Nichols

I am a husband, cellist, code prole, nerd, technologist, and all around good guy living and working in fly-over country. You should follow me on Twitter.