I am in the process of adding some of the postings that lived on my site prior to my switch to moveabletype. I have been meaning to do this for some time and kept putting it off.
All of these entries were written between December 1999 and September 2001. I was hand coding all my pages back then and additional effort prevented me from posting as often as I do now.
I’m re-adding them to the site using their original posting date, so they’ll all be listed towards the bottom of the History page.
Enjoy.
Two years ago this month my wife and I leased an Audi TT. We had looked at this car a couple of times and loved its curvy appearance. The car we leased was used and therefore the monthly lease payments were very reasonable. In the negotiation we asked the dealer if we could walk away from the car prior to the end of the lease. He assured us that we could. So we went with a 4-year lease as it got us the lowest monthly payment.
The car is fun to drive and attracts a lot of attention, whether parked or moving. It has been a blast to own. It has also been expensive to own. High performance tires don’t have the tread life regular tires have, and they are considerably more expensive. Insurance is also a high ticket item, and one that continues to grow every six months.
I’ve owned sports car and sporty cars several times in the part so I knew that there would be some compromises concerning this car. However I find that I am less willing to make these compromises. I’ve tasted what owning a luxury car is like and I find the TT to be lacking in some areas. Getting into and out of it when it is raining is impossible to do without getting the back of your left pant leg soaking wet just below the knee. You see the door sill is wide and you end up with that part of your left leg against the car when you get in, almost without fail. The seat pan is well bolstered. Too well in fact, as the sides of the seat press upwards into the backs of your thighs. You can shift to one side or the other, moving the pressure from one leg to the other, but you can’t avoid it altogether.
So the time has come to part ways with the little red sports car. Only the leasing company has other ideas. It seems that the dealer lied about our ability to walk away from the lease at any time. Oh, sure you can walk away, but not with out a potentially huge penalty. You see they will sell the car once I give it back, at a wholesale auction where it will likely not even generate book value. Then they will bill me for the difference between the sale price and the currently buyout as calculated by them. This amounts to at least 7000 dollars in my case.
I could sell the car privately, and in fact I have tried that 3 times since last August, but no one is willing to pay over book value, let alone $7000 over book. This last time I was willing to pay $3000 myself to lower my asking price to just $4000 over book, still no deal.
So my final option is to trade it in and hope that the dealer will give me enough to make it worth my while. The best dealer offer we have gotten would get us into a barely used Mercedes-Benz for roughly the same monthly payment. We’d have to refinance some of the difference between their offer (1500 over book) and the current buyout, but we’d only have to pay $3000 down to swing the deal.
If not for the TT’s shortcomings and expensive upkeep I would never consider selling at a loss like this, but I am so unhappy with the car that I am ready to switch no matter what. The M-B would be a purchase and not a lease, so that in 60 months we’d own that car. And since we’d be trading in a car we’d save over $2000 in sales tax on the deal as well. The Mercedes is a wonderful car to drive, it has 4-doors and a back seat, and it doesn’t have quick wearing high performance tires on it. And we believe it will hold its value, rather than depreciating faster than we can pay it off.
My fear about all this is that we are throwing money away by selling at a loss. But I realize that in two years we’d have no car and, to match this deal, we’d have to pony up $6500. (3000 down plus 2000 in taxes plus 1500 value the dealer is giving up over book) I don’t know of an investment I can make today that will return 116% in two years so I think this maybe a good deal.
I guess I had already talked myself into this deal, I just needed to write all my thoughts about it down so that I could put them in order and see them in black and white. This is a compromise and in some terms an expensive one, but it ends situation that is expensive emotionally as well as financially. Anytime you can make your life less emotionally expensive you’ve made a wise investment in yourself.
Last year in May my wife gave me a new Palm m515 handheld computer. This replaced my previous Vx handheld which I had purchased used from eBay. I use this handheld everyday and carry it with me everywhere. About one week after I got it the USB cradle stopped working. I called Palm Technical Support and they mailed me a new cradle. When it arrived it didn’t work either. By this time I had purchased a serial cradle that worked fine so I just tossed the two USB cradles into my junk drawer and forgot about them.
With the acquisition of my Powerbook G4 and subsequent switch to Macintosh computers I needed a working USB cradle to continue to synchronize my handheld ~ the laptop only has USB and FireWire ports. So I called Palm again and this time they sent me a Backup/Restore chip that also had software embedded to fix the synching problem. I followed the directions and backed up my handheld to the chip and then ran the reset process. This takes 8 hours, and requires a 2 hour charge afterwards. The next day my Palm once again worked when I tried to synchronize it using the USB cradle.
However within a week or so it had stopped working. I decided that one of the cradles must be bad and when I used it I was causing the problem to reoccur. So I ran the 10-hour reset process again and tried synchronizing with my cradle at work. It worked fine. Repeated synchronizations also worked. So I decided the cradle at home was the problem and only used it for charging.
Another week or so went by and once again the Palm refused to connect using the ‘good’ USB cradle. So I tried the other one, still no luck. I called Palm again and this time they explained what the problem was: static electricity. It seems that the chip in the Palm that handles the USB connection is somewhat sensitive to static electricity buildup. Once a certain threshold is reached it no longer works. The rest of the Palm circuitry is fine; everything else I used the Palm for worked, I just couldn’t synchronize it. In talking to the technical support guy I mentioned that I carry it in my coat or pants pocket. The movement of the metal chassis of the Palm against the fabric of these two pockets is enough, it seems, to generate a small static electricity charge. Enough to block the USB chip from working.
Once again I ran the reset process and now I am able to synchronize the m515 from either USB cradle. I have ordered a hard shell carry case from Palm to house my Palm in when it is riding in a pocket. In the meantime I rescued an old ‘static shield bag’ that a laptop hard drive had arrived in and I am using it when I carry the Palm in my pocket.
You’d think they would be able to shield the chip from the static electricity. But I guess there is more money to be made selling static electricity proof cases than in correcting what appears to be a design flaw.
Back in the ‘old’ days, when I used Windows as my primary personal operating system I was a part of several distributed computing efforts. Most notably the SETI @ Home project. Eventually I tired of that screen saver and I stopped using it.
In the meantime I discovered the Google Toolbar for Windows Internet Explorer and installed it. This is a great edition to the browser as it adds an always available search box and other goodies to IE. Somewhere along the line I discovered that it also offered a chance to participate in the Folding @ Home distributed computing project. This project deals with protein research.
So I downloaded it and gave it a try. Only it didn’t seem to be working. It never was working on anything and over time I forgot I had installed it.
For the past two weeks or so my workstation at work has mysteriously been running at 100% CPU usage when it should have been idle. I’d leave my desk for a few minutes and return to her the CPU fan going full-tilt and the CPU monitor graph would be pegged. As soon as I’d move the mouse or use the keyboard the usage would drop back to normal usage levels. I was stumped as to what could be causing this to happen.
Then this morning I opened up the Processes panel of the Task Manager so that I could see all the processes at once and waited. After a few minutes the processor usage jumped to 100% and lo and behold the number one task on the list was GoogleFAHCore_6, closely followed by GoogleFAH.exe. I had found the culprit. D’Oh! It would seem the my Folding @ Home client finally woke up and started folding.
I not only disabled the FAH Client, I uninstalled it from my hard drive.
Just goes to prove that no matter how smart you think you are, you’re still a big dopey at times.
The software project team that I am a part of recently reached a major milestone, our first release candidate. As a thank you and ‘reward’ the project leader setup a lunch out for all of us. I put reward inside quotes because for personal reasons eating in a group setting is difficult for me, and at times embarrassing.
You see I have what doctor’s have diagnosed as a Shotski’s ring in my throat. This a narrowing that can, at time, make it extremely difficult for me to swallow. When I have an episode I am unable to swallow food or even liquid. Sometimes relaxing at the table eases the narrowing and I am okay. Other times I am forced to visit the bathroom and throw-up to release the tension in my throat.
Over the 10 or so years that I’ve suffered from this affliction I’ve had six surgery’s. At most each surgery brought me a week or maybe two respite from the symptoms. Rather than continue to subject myself to the surgery I have instead tried to understand the emotional and situational conditions that exist around an episode. My belief is that by taking care of myself and modifying those habits or behaviors that seem to bring on an episode. I’ve learned that drinking lots of water before hand makes a huge difference, almost as if I am training my throat to swallow before each meal. I eat very slowly and cut my food into small bites to assist myself in eating.
Emotional control over the meal setting and company is a large factor as well. If I am stressed or upset about something my throat is tense and I will have great difficulty in eating. Fear also can bring on a reaction. Eating with other people is difficult because I don’t know if I’ll have an episode or not. And once it starts I cannot talk or explain. When an episode starts my face flushes and I often hiccup loudly. My mouth and throat fill with heavy saliva and mucus preventing me from talking. When this happens in public I feel as if everyone is watching me, which only adds to my upset and makes the episode worse. Therefore I tend to avoid group eating situations.
So having a group lunch, for me at least, is less a reward and more an ordeal to be endured. Will I be able to eat? Or will I have a bad reaction and have to leave the table one or more times to throw up? Will anyone say anything?
I debated all morning today about not attending the lunch. My fear was that I would draw unwelcome attention to myself by not going. Since everyone else in the group was attending my absence would stand out. I felt pressured to attend. The choice of lunch spots is not a place I enjoy eating. These two strikes were soundly against me and I was completely unable to eat my lunch. I had to leave the table twice and ended up asking the waitress to box my lunch. I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes as I was afraid of seeing the questions and fears they might hold.
I left as soon as the lunch broke up and came directly back to my desk. So far no one has asked me about my difficulties at lunch but I am apprehensive about someone stopping by this afternoon. I am paying for not taking better care of myself this morning. I know now that I should have declined the invitation and lived with the consequences of not attending. At least then I wouldn’t feel like I created a scene in front of my peers in public.
The next time there is a group lunch I will simply decline to attend. I will ‘reward’ myself by doing what takes care of me and my needs.
In switching to Apple, and Mac OS X, I have been introduced to several new software applications that I like and use frequently. Being a software developer by trade I understand that it is impossible to produce software that is all things to all people. Still, there are features that I’d like to see added to some of my new favorites.
iSync This gem is from Apple and allows me to synchronize my Palm m515 with the calendar (iCal) and address book (Address Book) included with Mac OS X. It works very well except for one annoying detail: lack of support for multiple addresses. The Address Book in Jaguar allows me to store multiple addresses for a contact. However, the Palm address list only stores a single address per contact. I would like to see a change made to iSync Conduit to allow me to configure which address is transferred during a synchronization. Better, it would be nice to have the option to create multiple address entries in my Palm from one address entry in Jaguar. A contact for whom I have work and home address information would be one card in my Address Book and two cards in my Palm.
Proteus This multiple protocol chat client is very nice. I am used to Trillian on Windows platforms and I very much like this equivalent on the Mac. However, it doesn’t work when I am at work and connected through a proxy. I understand from reading the support forums on the Proteus web site that this is not as easy to implement as one might suspect. However it sounds like a feature that will be included in a future release of Proteus. Until then I can limp along with the native AOL and MSN Messenger clients.
Safari This is a wonderful browser, Apple has hit a home run as far as I am concerned. I know that most people are clamoring for tabbed browsing, but since I am migrating from Windows IE and therefore never had tabs before, it isn’t a major concern with me. What I am concerned about is the manner bookmarks are accessed. Having to open a book mark viewer and then double click on the reference I want is about 2 clicks to many. How about a drawer so I can see my bookmark list and single click the page I want?
We have a 9-year old Tabby cat named Abby Normal, that my wife got as a kitten in Tampa. Abby is a beautiful tiger tabby with golden eyes and long whiskers. She was an only cat until 6 years ago when we acquired our second tabby, Nekko. Abby grudgingly accepted the interloper and now they are fast friends.
Every since Abby was a kitten she has had respiratory issues. She sneezes. A lot. Prodigious amounts of snot are produced in many of these explosions. There is enough velocity to fling some of this output to the ceiling from the back of the couch. A trip the vet early in her life indicated that there was a medicine that could control some of her respiratory distress but it came at the steep price of shortening her life span. Michele opted to love Abby for who she was and deal with the snot-factor.
There are times when her breathing is obviously labored, and these times seem to be increasing in frequency. She is also starting to have difficulty with her bowels. We first noticed this almost 5 years ago and in that time she has been constipated several times. Once, two years ago, we resorted to taking her to the emergency animal clinic overnight. Since that episode we have carefully monitored her diet and helped with oil-laced cat food when she seemed to be constipated. This past weekend she had a rather bad bout that included a first, urinating on the furniture.
Our fear is that Abby’s condition is starting to deteriorate. Between the respiratory trouble and now increasingly frequent bouts of constipation we wonder what about her quality of life. On her good days she plays and romps with Nekko. However, we are seeing a slight slowing in her activity. Abby has always been a tremendous jumper. At times we called her Air-Abby for the deft lightness she has when jumping from the floor to overhead objects. This past weekend, before she passed her blockage she was unable to jump to the desk, an easy distance for her most days.
We talked, often with tears, about letting her go, at length on Saturday. It is agonizingly difficult to discuss rationally. In the end, we decided to monitor more closely her general health, and to track her respiratory and bowel difficulties. If we feel that they are happening too often, or that they are seriously degrading her quality of life, then we’ll have to prepare ourselves to let go of our dear sweet Abby.
Abby is my cat, even though Michele originally had her for 3 years before me. Abby has adopted me as hers and eagerly follows me though the house waiting for me to sit so she can be in my lap. At night she sleeps on top of me, and during the day she reclines on a pillow on my desk. I never had a pet of my own growing up and my attachment to Abby is very strong. I’ve always known that I would have to let her go someday, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.
Taking the responsibility to euthanize her when her quality of life is no longer good will be very difficult. I am not looking forward to that piece of growing up. Little Mark is scared and afraid of what it means to lose Abby. I can feel his despair when I think about her. I know that some people would say it’s only a pet. To me Abby is a far more than just a pet. She is unconditional love. She doesn’t care whether I’m tall or short, smart or dumb, tired or active. She just wants to be near me or on me. To have her on my chest knitting her paws and purring loudly is wonderful. To imagine never having that wonderful sensation again is awful.
I know that I am far from done sorting this issue out, but it has helped to write this much today.
I’ve been doing some light site cleaning. I’ve removed some links from the ’elsewhere’ menu that I no longer frequent. When I have the time and inclination I’ll add some of the other links that have found their way to my daily visit list.
I also added two RSS feed links to the bottom of the menu panel. One for 0.91 and one for 1.0. I downloaded NetNewsWire Lite today, and have been exploring the possibilities it represents. Since moveabletype, the site management software I use, provides the necessary formats for these aggregators, I went ahead and added the syndication links for your use.
Anita Ramasastry, a professor from the University of Washington School of Law, has a commentary on the Domestic Security Enhancement Act (aka Patriot II), Patriot II: The Sequel Why It’s Even Scarier than the First Patriot Act. There are a lot of scary things highlighted in this article, too many to even know which to select as an excerpt. But do note two things: this document wasn’t publicly released, it was leaked, and apparently Congress has played little to no part in its drafting. (from megnut)
This past weekend my wife and I traveled to Manteo North Carolina to visit my mother-in-law. We had scheduled this trip some time ago last fall and in the time since then there have been some complications with Virginia’s health, so our trip had a sense of urgency.
She was admitted to the hospital briefly just after Christmas, showing signs of extreme fatigue and shortness of breath. In the end she was given 3 pints of blood and released after a couple of days. Her sisters all took this as a sign of impending death and shifted into high panic and berated my poor wife for not dropping everything in our lives to come and live with her mom. My wife has struggled with how best to help her mother while keeping her own life. In the end we felt that with family on the ground there our coming earlier than planned wouldn’t help. In fact, by keeping our mid-February date, we arrived after some of the panic had died down, and we were able to evaluate Virginia in her normal setting.
Michele also had time to prepare herself to ask her mother some very difficulty questions. Michele wanted to discover her mother’s wishes concerning heroic measures in the hospital should she be admitted again. Also we wanted to learn what her wishes were for a funeral and service. Talking to ones parent about the end of their life is not an easy task. Michele handled it beautifully and I was very honored to be a part of the bonding that happened between mother and daughter that evening. Virginia has survived a difficult and often hardship filled life largely on her wits and savvy. She is reluctant to expose her self emotionally to anyone, and she does not like intrusions into her business. I think, however, she did appreciate the concern and love Michele was showing, and she was able to talk about her wishes.
Knowing that my own parents are both in their seventies I realize that I will be faced with this same discussion in the near future myself. I understand the value of laying out your responses to emotionally charged situation ahead of time, but I am not looking forward to actually discussing it out loud with my parents. Somehow saying it out loud makes it more real.
I have the utmost respect for Michele for facing her fears about losing her mom and setting those aside so that she could create a safe place for Virginia to open herself emotionally. She treated her mother with dignity and respect, accepting her wishes even though she doesn’t agree with all of them. Too often we try to take care of ourselves by imposing our wishes on someone else, Michele refused to do that with her mother. Instead she worked out her needs and issues separate from her mother, so that she was able to leave control of her mother’s live with her mother.
I hope that when my time comes I am fortunate enough to have someone in my corner who sets aside their needs in order to respect my wishes.