I have updated the elsewhere list over there to your right. The list of sites that I visit daily is more or less represented here now. (I did eliminate the commercial sites, these are just the personal sites.) I am inspired by the look and feel of these sites, and also by their content. Sharing bits of myself is easier when I see others sharing of themselves.
Give ’em a try. Who knows, you may like what you find.
I have added a link to the CNN Coalition casualty page, just under the non-combatant count. From there you can see how many coalition men and women had been killed.
I have added a counter to my page that shows an estimate of the Iraqi body count as a result of the current war against them. I found out about it at zeldman.com. Here is the posting he used to talk about it:
“Civilian casualties are the most unacceptable consequence of all wars,” say the site’s founders. “Each civilian death is a tragedy and should never be regarded as the ‘cost’ of achieving our countries’ war aims, because it is not we who are paying this price.”
Michele and I spent some time today looking at potential new cats for our household. We both, almost simultaneously, discovered an ad in the online copy of the local paper stating that Petsmart had cats for $25. These animals have been rescued and fostered back to good health and humor by volunteers and are now ready for adoption.
While most of the ones there today were male, we did see one female calico that was adorable. With big yellow eyes and a very gregarious personality, Dinkus was hard not to take home immediately. However we are still getting over Abby and discovered that maybe we weren’t ready for a new cat just yet.
After leaving the store we followed up on another ad in the paper; this time for Siamese kittens. These little balls of fluff are only 6-weeks old and were precious. However, we both had a slightly unsettled feeling while at the private home selling them. After our experience with trying a puppy last year, we are not about to get an animal from a place we aren’t comfortable.
On the ride home we talked about it and came to the conclusion that we aren’t ready yet to bring a new cat into our lives. Nekko is adjusting to being the only cat with no outward signs of distress, and we are also getting used to having just one cat reminding us of our station in life.
So, for now, it’s just me, Michele, and Nekko.
It seems that one of the reasons we are invading Iraq is to ensure that they have a good wireless communications infrastructure. This InternetNews.com story, covers the introduction of a bill by Congressman Darrell Issa (R.-Calif.) Wednesday, demanding that the Department of Defense and USAID show favor to CDMA (define) technology made by San Diego-based QUALCOMM (Quote, Company Info).
And here I was worried that we were invading a sovereign nation because of greedy, capitalistic oil companies. Silly me. It’s for the greedy, capitalistic wireless companies. Gosh, I feel so much better now.
June 1, 1950, Margaret Chase Smith of Maine spoke on the Senate floor on behalf of the Declaration of Conscience. The declaration opposed McCarthyism. I have reprinted Smith’s speech here, for I feel that we are entering a new era of suppression, fear and helplessness.
While it is rather lengthy it is worth reading; and while you read substitute terrorism for communism, terrorist for communist, and see if you don’t feel this Declaration of Conscience is just as appropriate today as it was 53 years ago.
I would like to speak briefly and simply about a serious national condition. It is a national feeling of fear and frustration that could result in national suicide and the end of everything that we Americans hold dear. It is a condition that comes from the lack of effective leadership in either the Legislative Branch or the Executive Branch of our Government.
That leadership is so lacking that serious and responsible proposals are being made that national advisory commissions be appointed to provide such critically needed leadership.
I speak as briefly as possible because too much harm has already been done with irresponsible words of bitterness and selfish political opportunism. I speak as simply as possible because the issue is too great to be obscured by eloquence. I speak simply and briefly in the hope that my words will be taken to heart.
I speak as a Republican. I speak as a woman. I speak as a United States Senator. I speak as an American.
The United States Senate has long enjoyed worldwide respect as the greatest deliberative body in the world. But recently that deliberative character has too often been debased to the level of a forum of hate and character assassination sheltered by the shield of congressional immunity.
It is ironical that we Senators can in debate in the Senate directly or indirectly, by any form of words, impute to any American who is not a Senator any conduct or motive unworthy or unbecoming an American—and without that non-Senator American having any legal redress against us—yet if we say the same thing in the Senate about our colleagues we can be stopped on the grounds of being out of order.
It is strange that we can verbally attack anyone else without restraint and with full protection and yet we hold ourselves above the same type of criticism here on the Senate Floor. Surely the United States Senate is big enough to take self-criticism and self-appraisal. Surely we should be able to take the same kind of character attacks that we “dish out” to outsiders.
I think that it is high time for the United States Senate and its members to do some soul-searching—for us to weigh our consciences—on the manner in which we are performing our duty to the people of America—on the manner in which we are using or abusing our individual powers and privileges.
I think that it is high time that we remembered that we have sworn to uphold and defend the Constitution. I think that it is high time that we remembered that the Constitution, as amended, speaks not only of the freedom of speech but also of trial by jury instead of trial by accusation.
Whether it be a criminal prosecution in court or a character prosecution in the Senate, there is little practical distinction when the life of a person has been ruined.
Those of us who shout the loudest about Americanism in making character assassinations are all too frequently those who, by our own words and acts, ignore some of the basic principles of Americanism:
The exercise of these rights should not cost one single American citizen his reputation or his right to a livelihood nor should he be in danger of losing his reputation or livelihood merely because he happens to know someone who holds unpopular beliefs. Who of us doesn’t? Otherwise none of us could call our souls our own. Otherwise thought control would have set in.
The American people are sick and tired of being afraid to speak their minds lest they be politically smeared as “Communists” or “Fascists” by their opponents. Freedom of speech is not what it used to be in America. It has been so abused by some that it is not exercised by others.
The American people are sick and tired of seeing innocent people smeared and guilty people whitewashed. But there have been enough proved cases such as the Amerasia case, the Hiss case, the Coplon case, the Gold case, to cause nationwide distrust and suspicion that there may be something to the unproved, sensational accusations.
As a Republican, I say to my colleagues on this side of the aisle that the Republican Party faces a challenge today that is not unlike the challenge that it faced back in Lincoln’s day. The Republican Party so successfully met that challenge that it emerged from the Civil War as the champion of a united nation—in addition to being a Party that unrelentingly fought loose spending and loose programs.
Today our country is being psychologically divided by the confusion and the suspicions that are bred in the United States Senate to spread like cancerous tentacles of “know nothing, suspect everything” attitudes. Today we have a Democratic Administration that has developed a mania for loose spending and loose programs. History is repeating itself—and the Republican Party again has the opportunity to emerge as the champion of unity and prudence.
The record of the present Democratic Administration has provided us with sufficient campaign issues without the necessity to resorting to political smears. America is rapidly losing its position as leader of the world simply because the Democratic Administration has pitifully failed to provide effective leadership.
The Democratic Administration has completely confused the American people by its daily contradictory grave warnings and optimistic assurances—that show the people that our Democratic Administration has no idea of where it is going.
The Democratic Administration has greatly lost the confidence of the American people by it complacency to the threat of communism here at home and the leak of vital secrets to Russia through key officials of the Democratic Administration. There are enough proved cases to make this point without diluting our criticism with unproved charges.
Surely these are sufficient reasons to make it clear to the American people that it is time for a change and that a Republican victory is necessary to the security of this country. Surely it is clear that this nation will continue to suffer as long as it is governed by the present ineffective Democratic Administration.
Yet to displace it with a Republican regime embracing a philosophy that lacks political integrity or intellectual honesty would prove equally disastrous to this nation. The nation sorely needs a Republican victory. But I don’t want to see the Republican Party ride to political victory on the Four Horsemen of Calumny—Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear.
I doubt if the Republican Party could—simply because I don’t believe the American people will uphold any political party that puts political exploitation above national interest. Surely we Republicans aren’t that desperate for victory.
I don’t want to see the Republican party win that way. While it might be a fleeting victory for the Republican Party, it would be a more lasting defeat for the American people. Surely it would ultimately be suicide for the Republican Party and the two-party system that has protected our American liberties from the dictatorship of a one-party system.
As members of the Minority Party, we do not have the primary authority to formulate the policy of our Government. But we do have the responsibility of rendering constructive criticism, of clarifying issues, of allaying fears by acting as responsible citizens.
As a woman, I wonder how the mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters feel about the way in which members of their families have been politically mangled in Senate debate—and I use the word “debate” advisedly.
As a United States Senator, I am not proud of the way in which the Senate has been made a publicity platform for irresponsible sensationalism. I am not proud of the reckless abandon in which unproved charges have been hurled from this side of the aisle. I am not proud of the obviously staged, undignified countercharges that have been attempted in retaliation from the other side of the aisle.
I don’t like the way the Senate has been made a rendezvous for vilification, for selfish political gain at the sacrifice of individual reputations and national unity. I am not proud of the way we smear outsiders from the Floor of the Senate and hide behind the cloak of congressional immunity and still place ourselves beyond criticism on the Floor of the Senate.
As an American, I am shocked at the way Republicans and Democrats alike are playing directly into the Communist design of “confuse, divide, and conquer.” As an American, I don’t want a Democratic Administration “whitewash” or “coverup” any more than I want a Republican smear or witch hunt.
As an American, I condemn a Republican “Fascist” just as much as I condemn a Democrat “Communist.” I condemn a Democrat “Fascist” just as much as I condemn a Republican “Communist.” They are equally dangerous to you and me and to our country. As an American, I want to see our nation recapture the strength and unity it once had when we fought the enemy instead of ourselves.
It is with these thoughts that I have drafted what I call a “Declaration of Conscience.” I am gratified that Senator Tobey, Senator Aiken, Senator Morse, Senator Ives, Senator Thye, and Senator Hendrickson have concurred in that declaration and have authorized me to announce their concurrence.
Michele and I are still somewhat raw emotionally due to the loss of Abby. Last evening we tried to have dinner out but neither of us was in a space to tolerate the costs necessary to be out in public in that situation.
I think each of us has an emotional reservoir that gives us flexibility in our responses to normal situations. You know that going out to eat will require some sacrifices on your part but you have the capacity to allow for those. When some large or unexpected emotional event occurs you use up some of your reserve capacity. You aren’t as forgiving or flexible about little things, and being out in the world becomes much harder.
Even though we understood that Abby’s time was coming we both used up our emotional reserve getting through last Thursday at the vet, and in the days since trying to reconcile our lives without her. I have had exposure to people at work, but that is ritualized and formal, with plenty of barriers to true emotional exposure. When I am at work I am not as accessible emotionally to others, or to my self. Since I am not open emotionally in the workplace it is oddly safe in this time of grief.
At home I am far more open emotionally for it is safe there. With Michele I don’t have to hide any of my feelings or thoughts. When the two of us go out for dinner we often have very deep intellectual and emotional conversations. We look forward to eating out not only for the food, but for the chance to connect with each other. Going out with my Sweetie is far more emotionally open than being at work, so it is oddly less safe right now. Both of us felt at odds with the restaurant and each other last evening. Our emotional reservoirs are near empty and we didn’t have the flexibility necessary to deal with the world while being open emotionally. In the end we got take out from another restaurant and ate at home.
I know that we are working through the stages of grief and that we are both respecting ourselves in letting this process happen at its own pace. Already the anger and hurt is starting to pass, and the love and happiness at Abby’s memory will be what remains.
This is good.
Updated: (3.29.2003 @ 3:30 p) It appears that the original page is either gone, or not always accessable. Therefore you can see the page, in PDF format, by clicking here instead.
At the 75th Academy Awards last night, the Oscar for Best Documentary feature went to Michael Moore for his critical anti-gun documentary Bowling for Columbine. The outspoken moviemaker invited his fellow nominees in the non-fiction category with him on stage and then both roused and infuriated the audience with an impassioned speech.
“They’re here in solidarity with me because we like non-fiction. We like non-fiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in a time with fictitious election results that elect a fictitious president. We live in a time when we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it is the fiction of duct tape or the fiction of orange alerts, we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush! Shame on you! You’re time is up.”
I am proud to say I saw this movie; it is completely deserving of the Oscar awarded last evening. Furthermore, I am proud that there are still people in this country who will stand up and say what they feel. America is nothing if we cannot have openly expressed opinions, for or against the issue of the day.
Michele and I have been slowly moving forward from Abby’s death. Both of us have experienced moments of intense grief and moments of relative peace. Several thoughts and ideas have been explored as we process the loss of Abby.
One is that grief, like so many other powerful emotions, has a state trait component. In other words, your emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual state is unique to that situation. Since grief doesn’t happen everyday we aren’t used to the demands it places on us. We were both surprised at the physical exhaustion we felt Thursday evening and Friday. We were also surprised at the depth of our emotions. After talking about it for a while we decided that each of us has unexpressed grief from earlier events in our lives that is being expressed now. Most people aren’t comfortable with the whole grief process and therefore it is rarely ‘safe’ to completely process. As a child, grieving for my sister, I got a very strong sense of ‘okay, move along now,’ when I still had strong feelings of loss, hurt, and anger.
Over the years I have been able to emote those unexpressed emotions, but not until I had a safe place. Michele is my safe place; with her I have no fear of recriminations or come-backs due to my being in my truth. Currently my truth is about grief and remembrance. I alternate between utter sadness about Miss Abby, and great joy at remember all the wonderful ways she touched my life.
Michele gives me a safe place to fall and she doesn’t place any expectations on how or when I need to talk, cry, or rage about this loss. I do the same for her. I could not get through this process as honestly and openly without my dear sweet Love. I thank her for helping to create the wonderful place we call home. And I am honored that she turns to me in the same fashion.
Abby brought so much to us and I am proud that we can honor her memory by fully expressing all the emotions we have about her. There is no time limit and no right way to complete this process. We simply have to be in our truth.